4 Excuses To Stop Making In Your Marriage

Hey there!

I’m so happy you are here today, because today’s topic is important.

I mean REALLY important!

Today we are talking about connection.

Recently, I had dinner with a girlfriend. And we were talking about our marriages, as us girls often do.

She was telling me about a recent trip she had taken with her husband.  It was the first overnighter that she and her husband had taken away from their son.

Then she began to well up with tears.  Holding back the tears, she explained that she was feeling emotional because getting away had made her realize how much she missed that alone time with her husband. 

The time away had reminded her how how long it had been since they had done anything like that. How much she missed him. After just one night away they felt connected, bonded and refreshed.

I was so touched by her emotion and her realization.

I wish I had paid attention to the value of connection in my own marriage much earlier on. It took me 15 years to truly understand and value that lesson.

The truth is, there is little else more important than cultivating connection in marriage.  Without it, a marriage will become lifeless and empty.

But, I get it.  It’s not easy.  There are a million excuses as to why you and your spouse don’t connect.  But, I’m here to say enough is enough! 

No more excuses!

For all of you who prefer to watch rather than read, here is a video of this topic  from Married and Naked Youtube Channel below.

Here are 4 excuses To Stop Making In Your Marriage.

1. “If I get away with my spouse, my kids will fall apart without me!”

Guess what?

The kids are going to be alright.  My kids are going to be ok and yours will too.

A few years back, my husband and I took a cruise.  It was our first big trip away from the kids.  I was hesitant and nervous about leaving them for that long.  I was certain my kids were not going to be okay without me; they weren’t going to eat right, they weren’t going to sleep right and everything was going to all fall apart while I was gone.

Guess what? To my surprise, not only did my husband and I have the time of our lives, my kids survived our absence!

Stop making excuses about getting one-on-one time.  Find a trusted adult to watch the kids.  Even if for just enough time to grab dinner at a restaurant. 

The kids may not be happy that Mom and Dad are leaving but they’re going to be okay.

2.  “I’m a better parent because I put all my focus on my kids.”

Not true!

I’ve discovered that I’m a far better parent when my husband and I are making it a priority to connect regularly.  

And guess what?

When we are happy, our children our happy.  

And, when my husband and I are not in a good place, it often spills over into my parenting.  I might be less patient, more tired, and more frustrated than I am at times when we are doing well.

When Husband and I are off, everything is off.

Trust me when I say, you will be an even better parent if you take the time needed to strengthen and connect your marriage.  Guaranteed. 

3. “It’s not easy to connect because of time or money!”

One thing I’ve learned is that sometimes you have to fight for connection; it’s not always easy.

It’s not necessarily easy to find somebody who you trust that you would like to leave your children with.   Money may be tight.  Work schedules may be rough. 

You’re right.  It’s not easy.

Fight for connection anyway.  

You don’t need money to connect.

If you can’t get away, then you can make sure connection is a priority at home.  After kids go to bed, when they are at school, on the phone, etc . . .

The more connected you feel to your spouse the happier you will be, the more stable home life feels, the easier it is to deal with challenges that come your way, the longer your marriage will thrive, etc, etc. . .  

I could go on and on with the benefits of connection.

Don’t make excuses.  Fight for it.

4. “My Kids Need To Be My Primary Focus, My Marriage Can Wait.”

In recent years I’ve come to a harsh realization.  And that is, my children are getting older.  My daughter is now 15.  And the reality is, one day they’re going to move out and start their own lives.

When that happens, guess what’s left behind? Just my husband and I.

And, if we have neglected our relationship for the time that our children were at home, I don’t think what’s left of our marriage will be very pretty.

The truth is, I want to still like my husband when our children move on and start their own lives. I want to still like being around my him. I want to look forward to traveling and spending time together and enjoying those years of our life.

I don’t want to spend those precious years working thru many many years of neglect. 

I want to take care of our marriage now!

I want to make our marriage a priority so that when our children are ready to move on, my marriage is still happy and strong so we are able and excited to enjoy that new time of our lives together.

(Looking for more ways to take your marriage to the next level?  Check out The 21 Day Marriage Communication Challenge! Click Here to Learn More!)

Never underestimate the incredible power of connection in marriage.

I wonder how do you and your spouse stay connected? Do you stay connected? Is that something that you need to work on? What are some of the strategies that you use in your home to find connection? Get the conversation started in the comments below.

Tammy

Married and Naked